A story came to me the other day, and when I thought back, the story must happen in every chronically ill persons life, including my own.
I first want to mention, that I know family, friends, co workers all want to help their chronically ill loved one, they want to fix out of love, they research and send daily ideas, articles, opinions on your disease let alone find you new Doctors or different type of Doctors, they research the internet, looking for answers, pills, promises to buy for your loved one, they buy books, watch TV shows and think they have found your cure.
On behalf of the chronically ill patients out there, me included, we understand your love, your wanting to help us, but please, the best way you can help us is to just be there, accept us,help us, it’s harder for us to accept our illness if those around us can’t accept the illness, making us feel not accepted and or at peace, this doesn’t mean we don’t want a cure or are not consistently researching for new answers, but we can also be put on overload, between family, friends, co-workers, Doctors and makes everything more confusing and more stressful.
It can cause family arguments if the family doesn’t believe in your decision for your care, Well if you are a adult, It’s your choice about your care. If you feel you need to say something about the care your loved one is receiving and they are unable to talk for themselves that’s a completely different story, but If it is the patients choice to receive a type of treatment or go into a certain direction with their health care plan, your job as a loved one is to support it.
A chronically ill patient needs to feel in control and at peace with their decision, the last thing they need is advise that was not asked for but given and forcing it down the patients throat. The patient ultimately knows what is best for them, It may not be what you have chosen, but the patient has the right to make their decisions based on their healthcare with out the pressure and guilt from family members, friends and co workers.
This being said, This doesn’t mean that chronically ill patients don’t want to hear your thoughts, but wait until asked give your opinion and let it go. Your support to your loved one is the biggest gift you can give with out upsetting anyone or causing stress. We know you love us, want to cure us, but what we need is your love and support more than you fixing us.