I found this article to be so inspiring, My entire life I lived it trying to be everything to everyone, obeying all the rules, living my life with my parents on my shoulders, so much I didn’t even know my own favorite color. Or who I was, What I believed in, I had always been told. After my divorce, I was left alone to make decisions as to my favorite color and it was so hard on me. I remember thinking to myself, “what the heck is wrong with you? ” But the truth was my entire child hood I was told what was classy, what good girls wore and I didn’t know what I liked, I tried the wild side, that didn’t work, I didn’t even know my own taste as far as my decorations and if someone came over with a negative comment the item would go back to the store and return it. Well after deep searching, and not caring of others opinions I found me! I found out I loved my photography, cooking, hiking, the color red, and eclectic taste in my home. A gift I don’t take for granite . A gift of being me and doing what my heart tells me, which direction to go and I listen. This included dating, I dated the creeps, the odd balls, the wild ones, the bad boys, just to find out what type of Man I would be happy with. That my friends took 18 years!!!!!
Your Greatest Lesson by Jane Garapick
Your Greatest Lesson by Jane Garapick
I’ve learned oh so many things along the way, but amongst all these lessons of life, there’s one that stands out among the rest. It’s the one that finds me in my most vulnerable place of all — in my aloneness.
It is, after all, the one place that few ever see.
I learned so well to play the part on the outside, being what everyone wanted me to be, but having no idea who I really was. It was who I was on the inside that told a completely different story. The one where I never felt like I fit in anywhere. The one where I always felt like I was on the outside looking in, even as everyone else around me seemed to fit in so effortlessly, while I struggled so much with this myself.
It’s why I’ve always felt so very much alone.
What I didn’t know then was that I wasn’t meant to fit it. I wasn’t meant to conform, to lose myself in someone else’s definition of me. The very people I was trying to fit in with, the very ones who I thought I wanted to accept me, could never have accepted me for who I was.
It was never the rejection I thought it was.
But of course I never recognized this at the time. No, before we learn this lesson we do so much damage to our self-confidence and sense of self-worth by convincing ourselves we have to get water from a stone. No one tells us that we don’t have to fit in, that we don’t have to conform to be accepted by the very people that can never appreciate us for who we are.
And yet we try and try and try some more. Until one day, we stumble upon the truth.
We’re not meant to fit into those places where there isn’t a fit. We’re not meant to be with the ones who don’t want to be with us. We’re not meant to mold ourselves into what they want us to be.
This isn’t love. This isn’t acceptance. This isn’t anywhere that we want to be. Not with eyes that can never see us for who we really are. Not with hearts and minds that can never accept who we are and what we have to offer.
And yet we call it failure if we give up this place. We call it something wrong with us if we fail at something that’s supposedly as effortless as this.
Because we haven’t learned that the greatest gift we can ever give ourselves is the one of acceptance of our true selves. The one that balks at what anyone says we have to do or be, and instead allows us to be who we are.
Is it any wonder we don’t know who we really are? Is it any wonder we’re all running around trying to prove our worth and our worthiness in every other manner except the one that matters most? We’re not meant to be carbon copies of anyone else. We’re meant to be ourselves.
Find that beautiful version of yourself. Dig deep and uncover the you that you’ve never dared to know.
And then don’t stop there. Find out if this life you’re living still works for you. And if it doesn’t, let it go and create another. That’s where you’ll find your happiness, your dreams, your path, your tribe.
It’s in this new place you’re meant to be.
Written by Jane Garapick