Invisible illnesses are just as it sounds invisible, You can’t see them, no obvious symptoms to the naked eye. That being said, living with a invisible illness is the hardest thing I have ever had to do. Not only living with the daily symptoms, but living with the unknown. Will I be able to attend the function on Monday? Will I be able to drive to my Doctor’s appointment on Tuesday? What if I get lost? What if I have a attack? What If I have a drop attack? I always carry my medication with me and a bottle of water as if it were a security blanket. Is it really going to help in this situation? No , but it makes me feel better. I only will allow my self to drive 3 or so miles and I have to feel better than normal to drive, so its not on a regular basis, I have to have some one drive me places, which makes me feel bad. My sensory system is in such overload, lights, patterns on carpets, wallpaper, crazy bright colors really bother me. I can’t handle music even though I am deaf in one ear and going deaf in the other, it causes confusion in my brain. A lot of people in one area cause confusion. You loose friends and your co-workers or family members question your illness? I have never actually wanted anyone to have my disease which is autoimmune disease, Vestibular dysfunction, deafness, fibromyalgsia, extreme fatigue. But at the same time If they could experience it for one day, maybe they would understand. Invisible illnesses are not easy to diagnose or treat and most are not curable, I use to hope this MRI is going to show a tumor that can be removed and I will have my life back and that is just not the case, I am meditating which can be a challenge in itself, with all the noise in my head and spinning, eye pain, ear pain. It’s depressing, but I had to take a new approach to my disease and not let it define me, also had to think of this as a gift! Am I crazy? Yes I look at this as a gift to understand what others are going through and trying to help them through there journey. I know it sounds strange, Yes I wish I was healthy but until a miracle happens I can help others. If any of you are dealing with this world, talk to me, I can try to help you if not support you in your journey.
Have a wonderful Saturday, Kelly