Tag Archives: life taken away

Are you proud of your illness? Crazy question!

A man texted me on Instagram and said what illness do you have? I answered, he actually said to me “are you proud of my illness” You make it come across that way, I was upset, shocked but the text got me thinking after blocking him is How could the title of a illness make someone believe you are proud of your illness. The saddest thing is we really are not proud, a lot of aspects can be embarrassing, I want to be healthy, help others and if you don’t hear me crying through your text, what you need to understand, we are alone, we cry alone, we don’t want to bother anyone, and if you cry, your weak or family reads you are suicidal. I do cry but not to others, I pray God will help me find a cure, I know there is a purpose, but unlike other diseases, we don’t have ribbons, pins, t shirts, parades, fundraisers, Everything when you tell your illness to someone, you get the sad face or the look of your going to die. or everyone has a magic pill or shake that will cure you, I even wrote to John of God with my illness and my photo. I received a bottle of something, but I couldn’t take something that there isn’t a list of what is in it. I know people who have had invisible surgeries? they will buy every supplement that are promised to cure them. I look at it is If it cures everything, why aren’t disease being cured. Living with a disease that has taken your life away from joy, working, family, friends, financially cost so much on copays and hospital stays, then there are the mistakes which I don’t believe in suing but I believe If the error was done unintentionally than I need to let then know so they can learn and also write a heart felt letter letting them know. That I am not a disease, I am a mother, daughter, sister, friend and its for these reasons I am letting them know. I am human, not a chart or Medical record number. Not to put anyone down, to educate them. Never once to this day have I gotten a phone call or letter of apology even knowing I had a good case to sue them. So when someone asks me am I proud of my illness, I can say no, Never and wouldn’t wish this is on anyone. Sometimes I wonder what I did or why me, then I realize Why not me! What is my lesson, what is my purpose and that is why I help so many others. My dream Is a cure that may not ever come, but I still would like to live my life and pursue my photography so I can donate to non profits. But with that comes something you can go in he hills with. Like a ATV not even knew, just safe and runs. but on disability you don’t have extra money for stuff, I cut my own hair, do my own nails, clean my own house, 1 room a day or I can’t walk the next day. So when people say you look healthy you must be recovery, It’s the mask. The mask of feeling well, It takes me a couple hours to get ready for occasion and then I pay for days. There are people out there far sicker than I but I don’t have a cure, that takes the hope away. And as simple as a ATV or lunch on a outside patio seems so little to others, they are dreams for others who just want to live with the simple things to make our life a little easier, more pleasant with more enjoyment, not a trip t Disney land, or Europe just the simple things.

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