Hello Kelly Helsel,
These two words – Letting Go – are very easy to say but can be challenging to actually do. Some of the things we might be trying to let go include:
Past Events or Behaviors
Some benefits to letting things, related to the above list, go in your life are: happiness, success, health, well-being, intuition, unconditional love, beauty, inner peace and creativity.
Many of us think the key to happiness and success results from hard work, discipline and commitment, when in reality, many times the secret is surrendering and letting go to reach your goals.
While I would love to be able to give you the answer of how to let go of the things you would like to in your own life in this newsletter, that may prove to be too difficult; however, I do have a book to recommend to you, and that is Letting Go – The Pathway to Surrender by David Hawkins M.D, Ph.D.
Below is an excerpt from Chapter 16 of Letting Go entitled Problem Solving:
The effectiveness of the letting go mechanism in problem solving often is quite astonishing. Understanding the process involved here is very important, because it is quite different than the world’s usual methods. The approach that brings fast and easy results is the following: Don’t look for answers; instead, let go of the feelings behind the question. When we are surrendered on the feeling behind the question, we can let go of any other feelings that we might also have about what seems to be the problem. When we are finally and fully surrendered on all components, the answer will be there waiting for us. We won’t have to look for it. Consider how simple and easy this is as compared to the mind’s usual long, drawn-out, inefficient attempts at problem solving. Usually the mind hunts and pecks endlessly, fumbling around with first this possible answer and then that one. The reason the mind can’t decide is because it is looking in the wrong place.
Let’s see how the system works with a common everyday example. Let’s say that we disagree with our mate on which movie to see. We look to see what the feeling is behind the problem. In this case, let’s say that we find the feeling of anger and resentment, specifically that we feel resentful about the lack of romantic time spent together. What we really want tonight is affectionate time spent together. As we let it be okay inside ourselves that what we really want is affectionate togetherness, it suddenly dawns on us that we don’t want to go to a movie at all. We just want to be together. Or the opposite might happen. We might find that the feeling behind wanting to go to a movie is fear, because we want to avoid spending the evening talking to and being close to our mate. We see that the feelings we have built up are unpleasant. We have resentment, so we let go of wanting to modify that feeling, and we just let it be there. It’s okay to have that resentment. As we surrender our resistance to the resentful feeling, we feel less guilty; we admit to our mate that we have had a resentment. A dialogue starts going, and the other person’s feelings are cleared up as well. We both feel relieved and closer, and we then say, “To heck with the movies. Let’s stay home, make love, and go for a walk in the moonlight.”
Greatness is the Courage to Overcome Obstacles.
This approach is rewarding in all decision-making. When we first clear out the underlying feelings, the decisions are more realistic and wise. Think of how often we have changed our mind and regretted past decisions. That is because there was an unrecognized and un-relinquished feeling behind the decision. When the action that was decided upon is taken, the underlying feeling shifts. Then, from the viewpoint of the new feeling space, the decision turns out to be wrong. This happens with such regularity that most people develop a fear of decision-making, because it turned out to be wrong so often in the past.
Problem solving using the mechanism of surrender can often be lightning quick with problems of long standing. To discover how fast it can work, let’s try it out. Take several problems of long standing and stop looking for the answers. Look to see what the underlying feeling is that produced the question in the first place. Once that feeling is let go, the answer will present itself automatically.
Using this tool and practice gaining hindsight to your issues will allow you to grow positively. Once you learn to let go of your reaction to something or someone and start thinking about the feelings coming up because of it or them, you’ll start to understand how to get through things. Give it a try and see what problems you can solve in your life.
Wishing you the Best,